The Imbecility of Servants
by Lord Methene
Summary: Lanfear, after her long sleep in the Bore, has decided that she had an excellent plan to get the reborn Lews Therin back in her good graces. A plan that could not fail. Or could it? An Omake of the Broken Wheel... Oneshot.


The Imbecile Servants (A Broken Wheel omake)

'What?' I hear you say. The story hasn't even gotten off the ground and it already has an omake. 'Methene must be losing his mind completely,' I hear you say. Well, the idea stuck with me while remaking the story, and I felt I simply must write it. You may consider this a humorous prologue to the story itself. Not saying it actually happened of course. Featuring Lanfear, because she is second only to Fleur and a Trolloc named Hans.

The winds swept across the barren land in the Blight. The wind itself seemed to shrivel all life, tearing all beauty from the once lush land. Deep within the bore that had trapped the Dark One and his Chosen for what seemed like eternity, a beauty awoke. The feeling of life breathing again through her body seemed divine for a second. Emotions flashed rapidly past her eyes, as well as worry. Eternal dreams and nightmares no longer tormented her mind. Rising up, with her one purpose burning as strongly in her as the Creator's hatred for the Dark One, she made for the first mirror she could find. Her strongest fear abated, her beauty intact, her mind returned from vain delusions and fears of rot to the one thing she desired above all. This age she would not fall. She would not be left alone and embittered while Lews Therin repeated all the mistakes of all the ages in one deft move.

A servant robed her in the customary white and silver that had become her trademark, and Lanfear rose to meet her fate. The Dark One had not actually granted permission for her actions, but nor had he threatened to disembody her if she pursued them. In Lanfear's mind that equalled permission. Her legend was still known, and her star still shone in the simple minds of the Trollocs. Saidar wrapped around her to stave off the cold and unpleasant feeling of death, Lanfear met the ones who would help her achieve her purpose.

'You are to follow me to Emond's field and make it seem as if you are chasing me,' said Lanfear, pacing around a Myddral and the Trollocs under his command.

'Hans is to eat Misstress,' asked a Trolloc, looking eager as he rummaged through the pack each Trolloc carried, necessary tools for the cooking of flesh.

'No, imbeciles,' sighed Lanfear, 'Lews Therin has been reborn and I must get to him before anyone else, without drawing suspicion. You must make it seem as if you are chasing me.'

'Hans is to eat Lews Therin?' asked the Trolloc, looking eagerly at the prospect. Every Trolloc, since the Great Arnold himself, knew that the use of Saidin made the flesh very tender. Juicy, with just a hint of spices, cooked for thirty minutes under hot flames. Highly nutritious and a delicacy of the Trolloc diet.

'No you are not to eat Lews Therin,' sighed Lanfear. The plan had seemed simple enough for herself, a masterful stroke of appearing the damsel in distress, in order to get Lews Therin back to saving her and loving her. 'For the last time, we are to travel to Emonds Field, where we will act as if you are chasing me. Lews Therin will save me and we will be together for all eternity. Do you understand?'

'Hans is to eat both Mistress and Lews Therin?' said the Trolloc, hands shaking slightly with the thought of how such a diet was bound to improve his muscular mass and make him even more feared in battle. The Trolloc females certainly liked a Trolloc who kept up his diet. Why, he had seen one that had the loveliest pig snout…

'Imbecile,' snapped Lanfear, a thread of Air smashing into Hans, throwing him down.

'Great Mistress,' said the Myddral, his voice echoing their unholy creation, 'We understand and obey. The Trollocs will do their duty.'

Hans stood up and followed the Myddral into the ways. He had talked with the other Trollocs and they all agreed that the Mistress was so kind to allow Trollocs to eat her and her lover. They had voted her the Trollocs' favourite chosen. Even their creator, Aginor, was not so kind to them. Mistress will certainly be remembered in the Trolloc legends.

Rand's farmhouse was deceitfully peaceful after their trip to Emonds Field. Tam had gone away in the forest to collect more firewood and Rand enjoyed the sensation of lounging, the sun's rays warming him, making him dream fantasies of rescuing Ladies and becoming a Lord. His daydreams were interrupted by the sudden appearance of the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, chased by hideous beasts. She was on foot and the foul beasts seemed to be catching up with her. Trollocs? In the Two Rivers. The strange parallel between his dreams and reality did not escape Rand as he took up his longbow. The Creator had smiled on him today.

Lanfear was delighted, even though running away from Trollocs was distasteful by nature. Lews Therin had acted exactly as she had expected. She would finally have him for her own and together they would rule this world. Now if…

'Hans eat Mistress,' said a Trolloc, howling loud enough for the Creator to have heard in his lofty dwellings. Lews Therin stopped in shock, staring strangely at her. A thrown axe followed, which Lanfear had to deflect with a thread of air.

The sight of Saidar being wielded, in combination with Lanfear and Trollocs seemed to change something of Rand's nature. Something seemed to snap in Rand's mind, as he suddenly stood taller, more confident, more like someone she knew all too well.

'Lanfear, have you not given up,' said Rand, just before his hand sliced the motion of opening a gateway.

'No,' said Lanfear, convulsing with tears, 'Lews Therin, don't leave me. Not now.'

'I am sorry, Lanfear,' said Rand, disappearing through the gateway. Lanfear had seen the destination. Thrice damned Caemlyn's towers and domes shone through the closing gateway. The Royal palace at that too. Lanfear, filled with both sorrow and rage, turned around to her would be attackers. The Myddral was shaking his head regretfully.

'Hans not do right?' asked the Trolloc, seeing his Mistresses' fury. 'Does Hans eat Lews Therin later? Can Hans eat Mistress now?'

'Imbecile,' said Lanfear, balefire streaming from her hands, incinerating Hans and the fellow Trollocs who had taken their cook pots out of their backpacks. Now she had to wait an entire age for Lews Therin again. Shaking with fury she opened a gateway to return to the Blight.


End file.
